Breaking news from the AP1 news wire is reporting that the leader of the Russian-backed Donetsk People’s Army in eastern Ukraine, Igor Girkin, claims “a significant number of the bodies weren’t fresh,” adding that he was told they were drained of blood and reeked of decomposition.”
(record scratch) What?
Reminds me of the Polish joke about a plane crashing in a local cemetery, 184 people died and the authorities are still recovering bodies.
That’s besides the point. Also we’re dealing with Russkies, not Poles.
On a slighty more lucid, marginally serious note, if Igor’s not jerkin’ our gherkin he may have found proof-positive that the 1989 film Millennium has a basis in fact, not fiction. The premise being future humans were throwing themselves back in time, hustling people off doomed airplanes and replacing them with reasonable facsimiles so the National Transportation Safety Board doesn’t have kittens discovering empty crashed planes all over creation. Considering most of the passengers were en-route to the International AIDS Society conference in Melbourne, Australia, maybe our time-travelling descendants need to stop a highly contagious, airborne version of AIDS.
If Comrade Girkin isn’t full of хуита, and he’s never watched the film, life has just gotten a whole lot weirder than Loren Coleman2 could ever imagine with his brilliant name game.
Then again, Igor is probably scrambling to make any excuse, no matter how outlandish, with Putin breathing down his neck for pulling a gigantic, unforgivable boner. If you didn’t pay attention to the news, a recording shows Russian colonel and rebels ‘discussing disaster’.3 Doubling down on the strange and conspiracy Derek Thompson at The Atlantic writes “[t]he military transport plane they had targeted is emblazoned with Malaysian Airline signs” suggesting the Ukrainian government is receiving supplies on the sly under the guise of being a civilian transport.
Still not weird enough? Let me throw some rabbit shit at you that I found in the warren. Over at Focus Sessions, Psychic Lynn reveals things mainstream news wouldn’t dare touch with a ten foot pole… er, Russian.
“I get this plane was the shell of the MH370 disguised as MH17”
“A different plane was swapped out for this “prepped” plane and flown into circulation. I also get something very strange with the pilots of the MH17. I get the impression that they were not physically in full control of this plane.”4
Where are the passengers of MH370, Psychic Lynn?
“I get they are in a “holding” area. It looks like a huge factory or building from the outside located in the middle of a desert area. I get they aren’t sure what to do with them, or when they will be released. I want to know if they will be harmed, and that still seems unclear. It was like the plan for the MH370 was so clear and completed with such precision, but there are parts that feel disorganized or things changed along the way making the “plan” go off track.”
Keep in mind, getting mainstream news from Who Forted? is like making political decisions based upon The Daily Show or The Colbert Report‘s rhetoric.
Is this an unfortunate accident being muddied by a small, scared man who realizes his family’s going to be charged for the imminent bullet in his skull? Or is there an outside chance something far stranger is afoot? Stand and deliver on our Facebook page, at Twitter, or in the comments below.