Fort Report: Pyro-Snakes, Skeptic Ammo, and Urban Explorers Scare 'The Man'

Fort Report: Pyro-Snakes, Skeptic Ammo, and Urban Explorers Scare ‘The Man’

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It’s that time again, weirdos! What’s on tap for the best fringe links of the day? Finding Bigfoot ruins it for everyone, a snake starts a house fire, zombie survival classes get axed, a chicken fathers a duck, urban explorers make the US government nervous, gratuitous nudity, and more! Read on, oddnauts, and start the weekend with a dose of the damned!

‘Finding Bigfoot’ in Oregon: Matt Moneymaker gave fodder to the skeptics

What could Matt have possibly done that would be any worse than the usual spewing of his totally made up Bigfoot Facts™? He actually yelled,“the deer are coming, and that means the squatches are coming!” Yep, pretty bad. You’re welcome, skeptics.

Snake Possibly Burns Down Home

Here’s a quote: “While cleaning up, she saw snake, threw gasoline on the snake, lit the snake on fire,” said Deputy Randall Baggett with the Bowie County Sheriff’s Office. “The snake went into the brush pile and the brush pile caught the home on fire.”

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Next, the Turducken: Scientists Say a Duck Has Fathered a Chicken

Genetic fiddling at it’s finest! Scientists claim that a duck has successfully fathered a chicken at the Central Veterinary Research Laboratory in Dubai. Now, get crackin’ on the dinosaurs, guys.

‘Zombie survival skills’ class axed at Oregon middle school

A northeastern Oregon school district says an extra-curricular “zombie survival skills” class at a middle school is no more. It has been replaced by an “exploratory reading class.” Those kids must be so bummed out.

Are Urban Explorers Really a Threat to Our National Security?

The National Counterterrorism Center thinks so, and they put out an advisory saying that they think pictures of abandoned buildings and subway tunnels are going to be used by terrorists. Curiosity is a crime.

Unexplained aircraft leave South Whidbey resident with questions

Unidentified flying objects over South Whidbey, Washington last weekend have left a Bush Point couple baffled and scared. “We’ve seen a lot of stuff, but this was the weirdest thing we’ve ever seen,” said Dick Johnson, a retired civil engineer. Haha, Dick Johnson.

Woman Claims Ex-Husband Put A Spell On Her

A Georgia woman and her adult daughter yesterday went to a sheriff’s office to report that the younger woman’s ex-husband had cast a spell on her and her home. Turns out these cases are hard to investigate.

Genetic Origami: DNA Bent Into Strange Shapes

Scientists have bent DNA into bizarre, basket-woven shapes, from spheres to corkscrews. Why? Because they can! And, well, because it’s the first step to nanobots.

James Franco Directs Kenneth Anger As Occult Priest In Music Video

Finally, here’s a music video that James Franco directed for some music that he actually performs. Why is it included here? Because it’s fucking great and it stars Kenneth Anger as an occult priest, that’s why. Also, there’s nudity.

If you’ll recall, Franco was actually supposed to take part in a widely publicized Crowley ritual a few months back, but it never panned out. I’d say this video makes up for it.

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Got a news tip for the next instalment of The Fort Report? Did we miss something? We want your thoughts! Tweet us @WhoForted or leave a message in the comments section below. To stay up to date with the latest weird news, like us on Facebook!


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