Ebola has a death grip on western headlines, despite only affecting a small area of humanity’s homeland. A perennial problem near and dear to Africans of all stripe are the malicious tokoloshe.
Zanele Chamana of Braamfischerville, in Soweto, discovered he had an unwelcome houseguest. A giant rat. No word if it’s the size of a New York City rat. Let’s check out Zanele’s side of the story.
“We chased it around the house. It ran into all the corners of the rooms but then it escaped. When we woke up in the morning we found blood everywhere in the house.”1
Everything went down hill after that. Her husband got fired, the specter of a strange man began haunting her daughter at night, and her granddaughters are terrified to stay under Zanele’s roof. A local sangoma, a shaman, examined the property finding the head of a goat next to bottles of muthi, the hallmarks of being cursed with a tokoloshe, a horny, sadistic little goblin. My assumption is the tokoloshe did the Chamana’s a good turn by killing the rodent, and possibly eating it, hence the blood.
Muthi is the term for African traditional medicine, which can also be used for evil purposes. Earlier this month, on the outskirts of Johannesburg, local residents dug up a muthi bottle in their neighborhood. Bound with red and green ropes, the bottle contained icky magical reagents and a note listing their names. Locals are blaming it for becoming drunks.2 Other enterprising occultists created muthi in hopes of an African team winning the World Cup.3
Do you suspect your home’s infested with malicious midgets? Drop us a line on our Facebook page, at Twitter, or in the comments below. We’ll hook you up with a good sangoma who works cheap.
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