Hawai'i Welcomes Alien Tourists!

Hawai’i Welcomes Alien Tourists!

surfingWith a mere twenty years ’til first contact, just like they said back in the 90’s, the question remains, “Where are the aliens going to land?”

Roswell? So cliché. Maybe if they wanted to drive three hours to Albuquerque for a Breaking Bad road trip.1

New York City? The food’s good, but the subways smell like diesel and urine. Also the aliens would blow the place up, remaining true to their valid, cultural heritage.

raelThinking outside of the box, some Raëlians petitioned the Canadian government for four kilometers of land to welcome our alien brothers. Raëlian spokesperson, Nicole Bertrand, says the Elohim aren’t picky about the location, but they’d prefer someplace without a permanent polar vortex.2

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Those polygamous, and polyamorous cultists are in luck! Representatives of the Reinstated Kingdom of Hawai’i have released a declaration to establish a sanctuary for extraterrestrials on the Big Island.

In recognition that newly created lava flow land at Kalapana, Kaimu on Moku o Keawe falls under the sovereignty and jurisdiction of the lawful Hawaii Government, we the undersigned representatives do solemnly declare the creation of a Hawaii Star Visitor (benevolent extraterrestrial life form) Sanctuary where:

1. Star Visitors are invited to fly over and land at a location to be designated and consecrated as the Hawaii Star Visitor Sanctuary.

2. Star Visitors are invited to meet with representatives of the Hawaiian Government to formally establish diplomatic relations between Star Visitors and Hawaiian Nationals in accord with principles of neutrality.

3. Star Visitors, after the establishment of diplomatic relations with the Hawaiian Government, are invited to meet with private citizens interested in establishing cultural, educational, and scientific relations with the Visitors.

4. Star Visitor technologies can be safely demonstrated, understood and developed for the benefit of all humanity, marine and animal life, and planet Earth3

Who wouldn’t want to set up shop in America’s paradise? If you’re still not sold, heed the solemn wisdom of Noble Robert Keli’iho’omalu Sr., sharing his earnest desire for peace, love, and fellowship.

Can you think of a better place for an alien embassy? Submit your proposal on our Facebook page, at Twitter, or in the comments below!


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  1. https://roadtrippers.com/trips/breaking-bad-road-trip/523b4a429d0782bf38000423 

  2. http://o.canada.com/news/oddities/raelians-embassy-456147 

  3. http://hawaiistarvisitorsanctuary.org/ 

2 Comments

  1. Christopher

    06/24/2014 at 3:59 PM

    Is this for real?

    • Chris Savia

      06/24/2014 at 5:27 PM

      Uncle Robert is sincere, even if he comes off a little hippy-dippy. I’m very happy he’s giving something positive to the world, even if many people look askance upon UFOs.

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