Recent ghosthunting news has been an embarassment to our community. First, Greg reports Ghost Hunters Charged With Massive Blaze That Destroyed A Historic Plantation, followed by my meager tale about Ghostbusters Busted In Gettysburg!, and adding insult to injury, there’s yet another embarassing story about our colleagues. A woman in Clovis, CA fell 30 feet inside an abandoned winery looking for ghosts.1.
Guys, give it up. You’re doing it wrong. It’s time you listened to your sainted mother and considered settling down. You don’t have to give up parapsychological investigations, just buy your own haunt.
Way out in Lacakwanna County, nestled twixt the Delaware and Susquehanna rivers, is a haunted house . For the low, low price of $144,000, you can be the proud owner of a haunted house2.
Slightly haunted. Nothing serious, though. e.g. The sounds of phantom footsteps. A strange knocking sound followed by a very quiet (hardly noticeable, even) scream at 3:13am, maybe once a week. Twice a week, tops. And the occasional ghastly visage lurking behind you in the bathroom mirror.
This is still a buyer’s market! A recent study3 the mere mention a property is haunted makes it a hot seller. Reviewing the handy-dandy infographic at Realtor.com4, 1217 Marion St. fits the criteria being built back in 1901, and a quick transition in ownership as the current owners bought the place eight years ago for $97,000. Even at this price, it’s a steal. Keep in mind, old houses like this are bound to creak and groan for non-paranormal reasons, underscoring the importance of a home inspection report. Hire an exterminator to clear the premises of rats, and other noisome and noisy company.
It’s important to do some research on the place. Having spoken with a realtor for this article, it’s easy to get the details of past owners. Their names are available in public tax records accessible by anyone. Sometimes there’s a fee, but your mileage may vary. A multiple listing service (MLS) can give information about previous owners, but the records tend to be recent. Also there’s an unwritten rule among realtors where they must disclose if someone died in the house, in addition to any legitimate ghostly activity. Research can help prevent disappointment, and better inform the buyer than spending a night in the house.
Should this seller be telling a tall tale, don’t despair! Four minutes away from this quaint property, across from the old Bliss Silk Mill, dwells the white bearded ghost on Throop Street. Known as Thomas McAndrew in life, he wasted no time raising all kinds of cain in the wee hours of the morning. From prowling around the house, playing the piano, and cursing the trees of his yard to never bear fruit before breathing his last. If you’re inclined to do some Scoobying, Mondays between 22:00 and 00:00 are best to spot Tom5. And if the house is haunted, consider setting up a play date. Happy ghosts are quiet ghosts.
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