Fort Report: Lizard People, Tin Foil Hats, and Broomstick Parking

Fort Report: Lizard People, Tin Foil Hats, and Broomstick Parking

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It’s Friday, Forteans!

To help you slog through the last day of the work week, we’ve got a jam-packed edition of the Fort Report today. What’s inside? Links about lizard people, WalMart’s new occult ventures, evil spirits, baby possessions, UFO hoaxes, paranormal casting calls, and parking lots for sorcerers.

Read on, oddnauts, and as you enter the weekend, remember to support small business and buy your eye of newt locally.

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Walmart ventures into occult territory

The giant chain has begun dabbling in the occult, and as usual, it’s a very bad thing for the little guys.

Secret Caves of the Lizard People

Two extracts from the LA Times of 29 January 1934, in the first of which reporter Jean Bosquet details the incredible story of G. Warren Shufelt, a mining engineer, who had been told of the underground city and its treasures by a wise old Indian, had consequently located it via ‘radio X-ray’ and was currently sinking shafts into the ground to reach it.

UFO museum funding falls short

Sick of having to travel “thousands of miles” to Roswell in the US, a group of UFO enthusiasts has set a goal of raising US$970,000 to build a museum in London. Any wealthy forteans feel like investing? If so, forget about them and let’s talk.

Conspiracy Theory Poll Results from Public Policy Polling

4% of voters say they believe “lizard people” control our societies by gaining political power, while 14% believe in Bigfoot. Also, 61% of Romney voters believe global warming is a hoax. I can’t even bring myself to make a sarcastic remark about that one.

The State of the Occult: 2013

Reality Sandwich asked two of their leading occult scholars, Richard Smoley and Mitch Horowitz, to share their observations about the current state of mysticism in America, and where they see the field heading in the future. Hint: Less religion, more spirituality.

Brazilian evangelist has big plans for U.S.

“Don’t be afraid, church, by these screams,” Santiago reassured the crowd. “They are the evil spirits being defeated.”

Ghost Hunters’ Amy Bruni Unafraid of Ghostbusters 2-ing her Baby

Amy Bruni, a paranormal investigator on SyFy’s paranormal reality show “Ghost Hunters”, isn’t pleased with well-meaning fans who express concerns that taking her baby to paranormal events and haunted locations may put baby Charlotte at risk.

Strange lights reported in East County sky

10News received several calls from viewers in the East County reporting strange lights in the sky Monday evening, and they tracked down the source. Brilliant video, do watch.

Maybe the guy in the tin-foil hat has a point

Elena Dugan attends the Fortean Times Un-conference and concludes that just because you enjoy chasing “crazy” things, that doesn’t mean you’re crazy. This is how a skeptic should cover an un-conference (but don’t call it an occult conference).

Casting call seeks ‘real Alaskans’ looking for paranormal adventures

Another year, another slew of new paranormal shows hitting the production line. It’s your turn, Alaskans. If you try out, let us know how it goes.

Strange mystery of the drowning ghost

“Suddenly I heard a scream which seemed to come from the pool. As I ran towards the sound I heard a heavy splash and saw something in the water. I  will swear that it was a girl wearing a red dress.”

Temple of Witchcraft Still Needs $26K to Fund Parking Lot

In all fairness, it has to be difficult to lock a broom to a bike rack.

35 years later, man still trying to solve plane crash mystery

Thirty-five years ago, a hiker stumbled upon a plane crash in the mountains of Montana with no evidence of survivors at the scene. Now, the crash seems to live only in its discoverer’s memory, as not even the NTSB has any record of it ever occurring.

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Got a news tip for the next instalment of The Fort Report? Did we miss something? We want your thoughts! Tweet us @WhoForted or leave a message in the comments section below. To stay up to date with the latest weird news, like us on Facebook!


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1 Comment

  1. Totem

    04/05/2013 at 4:45 PM

    Sleestaks were clearly reptilian, but those big eyes always seemed to scream Amphibian to me. Confirmed: Only skanky witches work at WalMart. A TP Demon would suck so bad.

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