Victor Noir's Magic Boner: For a Better Love Life, Rub this Dead Guy's Magic Crotch

The Mysterious Metallic Boner of Victor Noir: For a Better Love Life, Rub this Dead Guy’s Magic Crotch

victor_noir_magic_boner

Most men might consider it a dream come true to be the center of a lady’s attention, but there’s a man in France that draws countless women from around the world, all with one thing on their mind: rubbing on his crotch. Unfortunately, he’s been dead for awhile.

a vintage postcard showing the grave of victor noir

Hidden away in the suburbs of Paris lies the Père Lachaise Cemetery, the current home of French journalist Victor Noir, a man who gained considerable fame for angering Napoleon Bonaparte’s great-nephew so much that the political leader’s relative slapped him across the face and shot him dead almost immediately. While his end may have been anticlimactic, it seems that his reputation as a ladies’ man followed him into the afterlife, because even today, he’s credited with helping kick start thousands of women’s sex lives.

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No one is quite sure exactly how or when the trend started, but after a life-size bronze statue of Noir was places at his grave in the Père Lachaise Cemetery, women began to rub the sculpture’s crotch for good luck. After all, it’s kind of hard to miss the, uh, big ol’ boner in his metal pants.

Victor Noir's final resting place in Paris

When gazing upon the sculpture of Victor Noir’s likeness, it’s hard not to appreciate the details, but it seems the artist went above and beyond the call of duty by adding a very noticeable bulge in Noir’s pants.

Before long, the groundskeepers of the cemetery began to notice that, while most of the statue began to take on the tell-tale signs of age, Victor’s crotch remained well-polished, his bronze boner gleaming brightly in the midday sun. As it turns out, the memorial’s peculiar asset had started to become something of legend with local women who believed that giving Noir’s knob a good rub would boost their libido and bring them good luck in love.

The well-worn mouth of Victor Noir's likeness

As the story goes, placing those who place a flower in Victor’s top hat, kiss the statue on the lips, and rub its genital area, will find themselves with enhanced fertility, a blissful sex life, or, in some versions, produce a husband within the year.

Leave it to the government to ruin all the fun, because eventually they started to worry that the steady stream of hand jobs were going to ruin Victor’s grave, so in 2014, they erected (tee-hee-hee) a large fence to protect the well-worn groin. This didn’t sit very well with French women, who literally protested the new fence, and it wasn’t long before the barricade was dismantled.

If you’re going to leave a legacy behind, I guess a magic boner isn’t so bad.


Have you ever visited the lucky crotch of Victor Noir? Did rubbing his magic wiener improve your sex life? Do you have a magic peen? Drop us a line on Facebook, tweet us @WeirdHQ, or leave your thoughts in the comments below!


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