28 Light Years Later: Zombies And The Fermi Paradox

28 Light Years Later: Zombies And The Fermi Paradox

calvin“Where is everyone?” is Enrico Fermi’s immortal question, pivotal to the eponymous paradox.

Hypotheses about Earth being isolated range from humans being too violent, bad breath, technologically lacking, and being too religious, among many other self-inflicted condemnations.

Earth should’ve felt the bootprints of intelligent extraterrestrial life at least once in history. The theory goes an alien species, travelling near the speed of light should be able to reach every star in the Milky Way. Despite the best intentions of Giorgio Tsoukalos and Erich von DĂ€niken, evidence suggests our blue-green ball of mud remains forever alone.

What if the loneliness isn’t our problem?

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Stephen R. Kane and Franck Zelziz aren’t proposing we are the “First Ones”, nor are we the last sentient species, but the only living species. A Necro-Biological Explanation For The Fermi Paradox, currently awaiting peer-review at The Necronomicon, considers the possibility within an infinite universe, with an infinite number of stars, accompanied by uncountable planets once populated with variegated beings, there’s a non-zero chance they must’ve fallen victim to infinite zombie apocalypses. Dead aliens send no signals.

An interesting proposition!zombie_drake

Building upon the model outlined in Philip Munz and pals’s When Zombies Attack!: Mathematical Modelling Of An Outbreak Of Zombie Infection, where the hungry dead would overwhelm any civilization if not swiftly contained.

alien_zombieOutlined in the preprint is a new derivation of the Drake Equation, a methodology for the detection of a planet falling victim to a zombie outbreak by measuring compounds associated with decay via transmission spectroscopy in those atmospheres, and sussing out the timeline of an alien zombie outbreak. An exciting, and accessible, four pages without scary quadratic equations and their derivations.

Would you welcome our new alien zombie overlords? Pay tribute on our Facebook page, at Twitter, or in the comments below.


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7 Comments

  1. Aimee

    04/01/2014 at 4:43 PM

    Within an infinite universe, the aliens also may have magically turned into bunny shaped marshmallow candy. (This article was strange and seemed to talk about a lot of things, without saying anything definite.)

    • Joshua

      04/02/2014 at 2:41 PM

      Bunnie shaped marshmallows? But we haven’t even heard a Peep. 😛

    • R. Emmet Lee

      04/04/2014 at 6:30 AM

      I respectfully disagree, Aimee. The reality of infinitude is that it forces us to consider both possibilities and non-possibilities. The universe may currently be more empty than it once was. Zombies may have eaten all the interstellar species. Or – in the alternative – we are forever in the presence of evidence we not only cannot understand, but are also so deeply frightened by that we pretend it doesn’t exist. After all, where did Felix Moncla go? What are the Fastwalkers? Perhaps our world is worth visiting, but our species is not worth talking to.

  2. Zoltan

    04/02/2014 at 1:45 AM

    Is this an April fool story?

    • Chris Savia

      04/02/2014 at 3:54 PM

      It’s an April Fool’s submission at arXiv! Even though it’s a joke, there’s some solid science here. Take this TED talk on detecting alien life.

      http://www.ted.com/talks/garik_israelian_what_s_inside_a_star

      It’s feasible for SETI and similar programs to apply these methodologies to finding signatures of alien life. What’d make things easier are more powerful telescopes and more dedicated manpower.

  3. Ritoban Mukherjee

    04/03/2014 at 7:58 AM

    Hello Chris, even though I am a new author at WF?, I have been following the site since long. Your articles are great, love this site. 🙂

    • Chris Savia

      04/03/2014 at 4:13 PM

      Thank you. Glad you’re aboard and look forward to your next submission!

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