Tokoloshe Trouble: Body of Elongated "Alien" Creature Discovered in South Africa

Tokoloshe Trouble: Body of Elongated “Alien” Creature Discovered in South Africa

alien

The discovery of the twisted, elongated corpse of a strange creature has South Africans whispering about evil spirits and extraterrestrials.

The exceptionally weird find was made yesterday by a tourist just outside of Plettenberg Bay and has since found its way into newspapers all over the globe. One German newspaper called it a half-ape, half-man abomination, while others wondered if the creature was some kind of extraterrestrial that had wandered from its craft. South Africans, on the other hand, had a sneaking suspicion that the corpse was none other than a mischievous monster called the Tokoloshe.

Tokoloshe[4]Often described as a goblin or bear-like humanoid, the Tokoloshe are creatures that have been harassing locals for quite some time. They’ve been blamed for shutting down church services, causing illnesses, and generally causing all the trouble you’d expect from a gremlin including influencing the murder sprees of serial killers. Often seen as servants summoned to do the bidding of pissed off witchdoctors, the Tokoloshe have become something of a mascot for South Africa in the way that Bigfoot has been adopted by North America. Our monster sells beef jerky and concert tickets, theirs sells real estate. More recently, the rap group Die Antwoord went hunting for the demon with VICE magazine.

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But of course, the real question in cases like this, is what happened to the body of the monster when everyone was done poking it with a stick? Fortunately (or unfortunately, depending on how you want to look at it), it was sent in to Dr. Magdalena Braum, of The Crags Veterinary Clinic, for autopsy. Unlike newspapers around the world, she wasn’t as impressed.

“What I saw is not uncommon,” Braum told the Times Live. “Anyone could see it was baby baboon.”

Braum believes the animal was prematurely killed by a predator, and blames the strange elongated body on a grieving mother who carried the corpse around with her long after the animal died.

Of course, this hasn’t stopped superstitious locals from placing bricks under their beds. You know, just in case.

So, is the creature a hellish beast at the command of a witchdoctor? Or is it just baboon taffy? A half man, half-ape monstrosity? Or a stranded visitor from outer space? Let us know what you think! Share your thoughts with us on Facebook, tweet us @WhoForted, or leave a comment below! Thanks to Dale Vermont for the heads up on this story!


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12 Comments

  1. Sergei

    07/11/2013 at 3:25 PM

    Desiccated corpses always look a little monsterous, so I’m going with the Doc on this one. Not to say there isn’t a tokoloshe out there.

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  3. Coppertop

    07/12/2013 at 8:36 AM

    I don’t know what that is, but it doesn’t look like any baboon I’ve seen. Looks like a cross between the fake Chinese alien and a bunch of saltwater taffy.

  4. alanborky

    07/12/2013 at 3:18 PM

    Greg.

    Baboon taffy.

    Brilliant!

    Certainly more plausible than blaming “the strange elongated body on a grieving mother who carried the corpse around with her long after the animal died.”

    Then again maybe that theory can be used on Ancient Egyptian mummies making them the result of grieving mother bandage rolls carrying round the corpse of their baby bandage rolls too long.

    And for that matter aren’t baboons as oily and sweaty as all the rest of us monkey species certainly smell as if they are in which case mightn’t carrying round the baby actually prevent mummification and accelerate decomposition?

    Add to which isn’t it supposed to be their arses’re blue not their skin or fur especially at the baby stage which this very much does not resemble to my mind?

  5. Runyun Kitz

    07/13/2013 at 8:36 AM

    Why is it in the shape of a crucifix?

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  7. etherize

    07/14/2013 at 10:06 PM

    Why is there always just one bad photo of every strange creature that turns up? I guess because two photos would be enough to prove it’s something very ordinary.

  8. alanborky

    07/15/2013 at 11:31 AM

    Greg could this be the suit you used to get with the adult version of Stretch Armstrong the one he used to wear t’make things int’restin’ for his missus whenever y’squeezed her and she said “How was I supposed to know not ev’rythin’ stretches!”

  9. Alicia American

    07/17/2013 at 6:39 AM

    OMG this story is so sad yo 🙁

  10. Andy

    07/20/2013 at 6:04 PM

    This body looks very similar to the worm creatures from that shady Syfy show “Fact or Faked”.

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  12. Billrow

    01/13/2014 at 3:45 PM

    It beez evil juju coming to steal your private parts.

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