Erasing Death: This Dr. is 17% Better at Bringing You Back from the Dead

If I was to die tomorrow, please don’t be in a hurry to get me in the ground. Instead, just kick back, drink a beer, and call Dr. Sam Parnia.

Dr. Parnia, who resides in New York, is the head of intensive care at the Stony Brook University Hospital where he claims he can resurrect the dead, a feat that got the last guy with such a claim nailed to the cross. You see, his patients can be technically deceased for several hours and then almost supernaturally restored to their former selves. I always thought you had to drown in a cold pond to be a candidate for that.

If you are lucky enough to be one of Dr. Parnia patients, and suffered from cardiac arrest in his hospital, you would have had a 33% chance of being brought back from the world of the dead. In an average American hospital, that figure would only be 16% .

Dr. Parnia believes that the cheap and straightforward methods he uses to restore vital processes could save up to 40,000 American lives a year and maybe 10,000 British lives. I guess it takes a lot of time to fly the demised British to New York. Dr. Parnia was trained in the UK and then moved to the US in 2005. He has been frustrated that the medical establishment is a little slow and reluctant to listen to his figures.

Dr. Parnia’s belief is backed up by his experience in the of life and death of patients that have been in intensive care units for the past two decades. He did his training at Guy’s and St Thomas’ in London. In the past five years or so when most of the advances in resuscitation have occurred, most notably that drastic cooling of the corpse to slow neuronal deterioration, combined with the monitoring and maintenance of oxygen levels to the brain, have not yet become accepted possibilities in the medical profession. Dr. Parnia has set out on a mission to change that.

He claims that most doctors will do CPR for 20 minutes and then stop, telling reporters that “The decision to stop is completely arbitrary but it is based on an instinct that after that time brain damage is very likely and the poor victim will be in a persistent vegetative state”. He claims that if you implement all the various resuscitation steps together, then you not only getting a doubling of your survival rate, but the people who come back are not brain damaged.

Cool, I wonder.. if I am a little brain damaged now will I be smarter when he brings me back?

To hear more about the facts and figures that the miraculous Dr. Parnia has gathered on his mission, you can read his book “Erasing Death” which explores the science of resurrection, but be warned.. you might wanna move a little closer to New York when you’re finished.

Me? As soon as I finish my beer I am calling a moving van.

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