“My boyfriend and I actually met over a case of demonic infestation, so go figure.”
Ah, romance. From the depths of the internet (kudos to the keen-eyed Tony-Hart Wilden) comes a guest advice column that is almost too good to be true: “Dating Advice from Paranormal Investigators.”
Written in early 2008, the column features advice from four upstanding citizens of the ghost hunting community, including a pre-Ghost Hunters Amy Bruni.
Want to get laid? 23 year old Michael suggests scaring the hell out of your date. “Fear is the next-best thing to alcohol,” he says.
Need to get out of a relationship that isn’t going anywhere? Michelle, 33, of American Paranormal Investigations suggests lying. “I had to lie to make him understand. I told him I wanted to see someone else.”
Got the hots for a ghost hunter? 24 year old Morgan is a fan of the fib as well. “Tell them your place is haunted with things happening that are recordable, like moving objects.”
While the paranormal investigators may not be trustworthy (shocking, I know), they certainly aren’t slutty. Well, not too slutty anyway. When asked about important rules of thumb for first dates, the overwhelming responses were “no sex”.
Interestingly enough, the best advice from the whole crowd came from a 31 year old Amy Bruni, who didn’t know it, but was only a few months away from joining the cast of Ghost Hunters. When asked the same question as Michelle regarding getting out of a relationship, she gave this answer:
“No reason” is a good reason. It means she hasn’t done anything wrong. You’re just not feeling it, and that’s okay. It’s not fair to either of you to pretend there’s something there when there isn’t. She’ll be mad at first, but in the long run she’ll appreciate that you didn’t try drag things out.
Sound advice that doesn’t include booze or deceit. Who’d have imagined? Though if anyone asked for my advice on dating a ghost hunter, I think Brian Harnois said it best: “Dude, run!”
For the complete “Dating Advice from Paranormal Investigators”, head over to the Nerve archives.