Everyone’s hot to protect Bigfoot, considering an ordinance in Skamania County1 where a putative Rick Dyer will be fined $10,000 for killing a sasquatch, Whatcom County’s 1991 resolution establishing a Bigfoot preserve2, and, more recently, the National March To Save Bigfoot3.
But is there reason to protect Washingtonians from their state cryptid? In January, Will Ulmer posted the following on Facebook.
My group is getting reports from farmers who are finding dead animals on their land. The animals had their necks broken, no claw or bite marks and no gun shot wounds. They were placed almost side by side. They were close to the tree line and the farmers cattle will not go near that area. So far its 3 deer and 3 sheep and 2 horses from three different farmers not more then 40 miles from each other. The farmers also reported hearing strange howls that they have not heard before. Can anyone give me any info on possible bigfoot kills and what signs to look for?
No locations are given by Will, not even the name of his ‘group’, leaving me to begin an investigation to bring non-falsifiable hearsay to something more substantial.
This was a learning experience for me. A call to the Colville Police Department was fun. My first question regarded any reports of animals being killed at nearby farms, but my big mistake was following up with, “Or any Bigfoot sightings.”
The dispatcher Wendy was incredulous, “You believe in Bigfoot? Is this a joke?” After assuring here this wasn’t a prank, which is tough considering I told her I wrote for “Who Forted?”, she didn’t have anything to share, nor would she transfer me to someone higher up the food chain.
Stevens County is a rural place, most of the burgs being unincorporated, and census-designated places, with Colville being a veritable, bustling metropolis of eastern Washington. When I did contact other police stations, I was greeted by an answering machine, or bumped over to the State Police.
Not having the funds to canvas Stevens County, I have to say the case is closed. For now.
To quote Amazon Women On The Moon, “Bullshit, or not?” Tell us on Facebook, Twitter, or in the comments below.
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