Source Says Dead Man Rose From Grave, Returned Home to Take a Bath

Bulawayo 24 is fast becoming one of the internet’s most trusted news source, beating out Agora Cosmopolitan, the Canadian National Newspaper. A few days ago they broke the story of a goblin¹ terrorizing a Tshabalala police station, then a farmer harvesting potatoes shaped like a penis and testicles².

An unnamed source spoke with Pulitzer Prize-winning Staff Reporter yesterday on Taurai Paul Tsapauta coming home to take a bath³. Everyone saw the exquisite corpse return home, followed by splish-splash sounds from the apartment’s bathroom. Nobody feels safe in the neighborhood anymore, as it appears good ol’ Paul was a bit of a sorcerer in his own right requiring professional intervention.

Four prophets, a woman and three men were hired for the mission. Tsapauta’s wife removed a clay pot, zvuma (traditional beads), retso (red, white and black cloth), bakatwa (dagger), negano (a small axe). “These were removed with no problems. However, when one of the male prophets tried to remove a cow horn-like object with hairy human skin on it and fresh blood pouring out, that is when the drama began.

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If they wanted to banish Paul from the bathroom, they just had to take his AXE shower gel, (I believe he was using Dark Temptation) not his negano!

Is this a case of morticians forgetting the ritual washing of the dead, black magic, or a tall tale from some Nyamauru neighbors? Sound off to us at Facebook, Twitter, or in the comments below.

MORE GREAT STORIES FROM WEEK IN WEIRD:

1. http://bulawayo24.com/index-id-news-sc-local-byo-41479.html ↩

2. http://www.bulawayo24.com/index-id-news-sc-regional-byo-41878.html ↩

3. http://www.bulawayo24.com/index-id-news-sc-national-byo-41842.html ↩