The discovery of the twisted, elongated corpse of a strange creature has South Africans whispering about evil spirits and extraterrestrials.
The exceptionally weird find was made yesterday by a tourist just outside of Plettenberg Bay and has since found its way into newspapers all over the globe. One German newspaper called it a half-ape, half-man abomination, while others wondered if the creature was some kind of extraterrestrial that had wandered from its craft. South Africans, on the other hand, had a sneaking suspicion that the corpse was none other than a mischievous monster called the Tokoloshe.
Often described as a goblin or bear-like humanoid, the Tokoloshe are creatures that have been harassing locals for quite some time. They’ve been blamed for shutting down church services, causing illnesses, and generally causing all the trouble you’d expect from a gremlin including influencing the murder sprees of serial killers. Often seen as servants summoned to do the bidding of pissed off witchdoctors, the Tokoloshe have become something of a mascot for South Africa in the way that Bigfoot has been adopted by North America. Our monster sells beef jerky and concert tickets, theirs sells real estate. More recently, the rap group Die Antwoord went hunting for the demon with VICE magazine.
But of course, the real question in cases like this, is what happened to the body of the monster when everyone was done poking it with a stick? Fortunately (or unfortunately, depending on how you want to look at it), it was sent in to Dr. Magdalena Braum, of The Crags Veterinary Clinic, for autopsy. Unlike newspapers around the world, she wasn’t as impressed.
“What I saw is not uncommon,” Braum told the Times Live. “Anyone could see it was baby baboon.”
Braum believes the animal was prematurely killed by a predator, and blames the strange elongated body on a grieving mother who carried the corpse around with her long after the animal died.
Of course, this hasn’t stopped superstitious locals from placing bricks under their beds. You know, just in case.
So, is the creature a hellish beast at the command of a witchdoctor? Or is it just baboon taffy? A half man, half-ape monstrosity? Or a stranded visitor from outer space? Let us know what you think! Share your thoughts with us on Facebook, tweet us @WhoForted, or leave a comment below! Thanks to Dale Vermont for the heads up on this story!