Mystery Sickness Takes Over Oklahoma School, Causes Weird Symptoms

Much like the mysterious illness that managed to shut down an entire Wal-Mart a few weeks ago, several faculty members from a school in Shawnee, Oklahoma have started to experience strange symptoms while in the building, but reasonable explanations for the sickness can’t seem to be found.

“I think it raises alarms when you have more than one experiencing problems,” Shawnee Superintendent Dr. Marc Moore told Oklahoma News 9.

The issues came to a head at a January 11 meeting where teachers all began to complain of a “different kind” of headache, dizziness, and a “fogginess” clouding their minds, leaving them a tired mess when they get home from work.

The first thing the faculty did was call in the air quality testers from Oklahoma Natural Gas to check for leaks, but when they came up empty handed, they moved on to installing carbon monoxide detectors. Those, too, came up clean.

“If it is something here, we’re doing everything we can to find it,” said Taylor.

So far, school employees believe the source of the strange sickness is emanating from the kitchen. If you’ll recall, the weird source of the Wal-Mart mystery illness was coming from the grocery section. Could the two be related? Do the government and Wal-Mart buy some kind of haunted/irradiated/maniacally weaponized mystery meat from the same super villain? Regardless, one thing remains the same: school cafeterias are still making people sick.

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